Why? Just Why?
by in the hallway with jeans
Summary: Leah Clearwater is dealing with reality. A reality she isn't ver fond of. Why? Just Why? Take Two.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm sorry Leah, he's still not here. Were all worried dear, I'm sure he'll come home soon, just keep your fingers crossed, and wish on all those beautiful stars in the sky." Jane Uley spoke softly into the phone, calming Leah down for the millionth time. Her rage was washed out, and replaced with disappointment. She slumped back into the bar stool and caved her shoulders in.

"Thank you Mrs. Uley. I know I'm a lot to put up with. Please call me when you get some news."

"I will dear. Have a good night. Remember what I said about those stars." Mrs. Uley softly laughed into the phone, echoing through Leah's ears. She could hear the tint of worry and hurt in her boyfriend's mothers voice.

Leah hit the end button on the phone, and put her elbows on the table, bowing her head, feeling like she needed to cry, but no tears came. Her chest felt heavy, breathing became hard. Her breath came in short gasps. Was she having a panic attack? She tried to tell herself to calmly inhale and exhale, but it was hard, her head felt light and dizzy. Suddenly her mom was there.

"Sweet heart! Leah, honey, I need you to breath. Come on." Sue placed her hand on Leah's back, feeling her ribs expand and contract too quickly. She placed her other hand below Leah's neck. "Seth!" Sue called out. Minutes later, Seth strolled down the stairs, his hair knotted, circles under his eyes. His chest was bare, and he had on baggy pajamas. His eyes brightened, and he snapped to attention when he saw the scene in front of him.

"Get a glass of water." Sue snapped. Seth raced as fast as his sleep ridden body could go. He filled up a glass and ran to the counter, spilling along the way. Sue guided the glass to Leah's mouth. She tried drinking it, but it kept spilling out somewhere around her moth. Through the sides of her lips, her bottom lips, or coughing it up when she tried swallowing and then breathed too quickly.

Leah's breaths slowed, and moisture rimmed her eyes, pooling, but not yet falling. Sue told Seth he could go back upstairs, finish sleeping, he had to help his father in the morning. Leah was coughing up a storm, fluids pooling on the counter that had come from her mouth. Some of the tears had started to spill out. Her head was pounding, it hurt almost as much as her heart.

An hour later, Leah was sitting on her bed in ratty pajamas and an old t-shirt of Sam's he'd left here when they first started dating. She loved it more than anything, it was her favorite thing to wear to bed. It smelled like him, and she missed his distinct smell, the one only Sam had. Tonight, tonight she needed that smell, she needed the reminder that Sam was real, and alive, and coming back.

Leah lay down in her bed, the sheet forming over her sides, caressing her body. She rested her head on the pillow, forming herself to the right side of the bed, like she had been since Sam started sleeping over.

The sounds of nightfall rang out her window, and the sound of Seth snoring three doors down. Leah fell asleep to the sounds she had since she was born, the only thing missing was the body next to her, a body she wondered if she would ever see again, despite all she hoped, despite all she wished. He just had to come home…he had too.

**So, I realized that my writing had changed, the newer chapters I had just sounded different than the rest, so I decided to spend the extra time re-writing the story. I didn't like the way it was planned out, or the way nothing flowed together. **

**Thanks for reading this you guys! I appreciate it! Review if you haven't. I don't think you can review the newer chapter if you already reviewed the other one. If you feel you want to review but can't, you can Private Message me on my profile. I love it all. Thank You again! **


	2. 2 Dealing

It had been almost two weeks since Leah's panic attack, and about a month since Sam had disappeared. Leah had gone about her school year, doing the work, gliding through classes, and chatting with all of her friends. Even though there were so many people that loved her, and were always around her, all Leah needed was Sam. It scared her how much she needed him, Leah had never noticed it before. E had always just been there, no matter what.

"Hey! Earth to Leah!" Lorie waved her hand in front of Leah's face.

"I'm here." She said, trying to focus her eyes.

"Yah, I'll believe that if you can tell me what we were talking about." Lorie laughed, giving Leah _that _look. That kind of smug look, with a hint of sarcasm, a daring look.

"You were talking about taking a trip to Port Angeles…..again." Leah guessed. Lorie loved going to Port Angeles, and Seattle. She loved all the stores, the fact that she wasn't surrounded by people who had known her from birth, and that it was an actual city, with real things, and secrets that not every single person knew. Lorie really hated small towns like this. She spends her summers with her dad in New York, or with her oldest sister in Mackinaw Island, that's the kind of small town she likes. She goes down with her sister every couple of summers, she likes New York better. Her dad is this huge guy down there, so he's rarely ever there, but she likes it. I think that's the reason she doesn't live there though, and she loves her mom like crazy.

"Wrong. Though that is a good idea, I was talking about your little brothers birthday. It's like next week isn't it. We all thought we could chip in and buy him something, and then I asked what he wants, and realized you were way too zoned into a plastic spork to actually be paying attention." Leah had completely forgotten about her brothers birthday. Crap. She would make it up to him somehow, maybe a super awesome birthday gift.

"Umm, I don't know. I'll ask him when I get home. He's got a friend coming over tonight…and it's a _girl. _Serious embarrassment time. It's _finally _my turn to embarrass him. I remember the first time Sam came over. Seth decided to not-so-subtly drop hints of embarrassing stories. I didn't talk to him for three weeks." Leah lifted up her lips into a half smile. She had been _so _pissed, it was unbelievable. Leah had been so angry, and after a while, Seth had started to feel bad. Her dad had finally gotten tired of it and made Seth apologize.

"Ooh, fun! Can I come? We'll make it a 'study thing' for midterms." Sienna clapped her hands together evilly. Leah really didn't want to have all of them over. If she was being honest with herself, she was hoping that every sound that came from outside her window was Sam coming for her, and she didn't want her friends to see that. What was she suppose to do?

"Sure. Who else is coming?" Leah looked around the table at her friends. Their eager faces brightened her thought about the whole thing. The funny thing is, Leah knew they cared about her baby brother. Seth had grown up around them. They'd seen him with his friends, they'd seen him during his star wars phase-insert shudder here- and now they got the chance to embarrass him with his first girlfriend. How could she refuse them?

"Can I come shirtless?" Greg asked. He had an evil smirk on his face. The girls giggled, and some blushed. Gregory grinned his cocky grin and put his hand on the back of his head, satisfied.

"Just wear swim shorts, so you don't look too obvious." Leah laughed, shaking her head. Gregory worked out a lot. He took pride in being the most masculine. The girls giggled and blushed when he went by, and he grinned his cocky smile that made girls swoon. The entire table rolled their eyes.

The bell rang and they all shuffled off to their respective lockers, and then to their classes.

Leah raced from her locker to sixth hour English. She hated how her locker was in hall A, and her class was in hall D. She threw open the door as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. Leah huffed and walked over to the teachers desk for her tardy slip. Mrs. Redden just looked up and smiled.

"Please take your seat." She smiled up. This confused her. Usually Mrs. Redden smiled apologetically, and gave her some excuse about it being the rule as she handed her those stupid blue slips that say 'TARDY' on the top, and all the lines Leah has to fill in so they know how late she was and why.

Leah walked to her seat in the middle of the room, and sat down. Clarissa looked over at her when she sat down.

"What was that?" She mouthed. Leah just shrugged and looked forward. Mrs. Redden turned to the board, and a ball of paper hit Leah in the side of the head.

"What the!" she muttered, grabbing the paper in her hand and un-crumpling it. When she saw the writing she looked over at Clarissa, who gestured for her to read it.

_That was so not nothing! What's going on lately? _ Leah sighed. She didn't know what was going on lately, but she had an idea, and she didn't like it. She wished-for the billionth time-that Sam would come back, and everything would go back to normal. Leah looked up at the teacher, who still had her back turned while she wrote on the board. Leah sighed and started writing back.

_I honestly have no idea. I think she feels bad for me or something, I don't get it. Mrs. Redden usually doesn't like me. _

Leah took one last glance at the board, and took her chances. She rolled the paper ball across her desk, Braden Horner's desk, Ellen Brocker's desk, and then to Clarissa speedy quick. She then turned her attention towards the board, signaling she was done with their conversation.

When the bell rang, Clarissa jumped out of her seat, and raced out of the room before Leah had even stood up. Leah was hurt, a little sting rested in her chest for just a moment as she watched Clarissa retreat down the hallway to her locker.

Leah walked out the door and to the other side of the school for her last class of the day. It passed in a blur, and Leah walked out without even paying attention. The shrill bell rung in her ears, and she spun her combination into her locker. She threw her books in her locker, grabbed her jacket and backpack, and slammed her locker shut. Leah was frustrated, and a scary numbness was slowly creeping up her body. It was all becoming too much to handle. Leah headed for the doors, but was stopped by Mark.

"What did you do to Clarissa to piss her off?" Mark asked. He looked frustrated. He was dating Clarissa, and when she got mad, she went into a spiral of hatred, making everyone around her pay. She had a large amount of patience, but when it ran out, you did not want to be around it.

"I'm sorry Mark. I can't deal with this right now. I have to go. I'll see you guys at my house later. Tell everyone to get there at four, I'll be better by then, I promise." Leah went up on her tip-toes to give Mark a quick hug, and then started back down the hallway.

"Leah!" Mark called. She turned around. "Do you want me to take your bag. I can bring it to you later." He said softly. Leah looked at him, and her heart melted just a bit. He looked at her with sympathy, and understanding. Mark was the sweetest thing around, and had been best friends with Leah since third grade. He somehow understood everything, and knew when to kick Leah in the butt. Leah smiled warmly at him, and handed him her bag.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome. Now go and get it out. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me." Mark walked down the hall, and Leah dashed the other way. Her stomach was starting to twist, and her skin felt clammy. She ran off towards the forest.


End file.
